Labels, Identity, and Finding Myself

You know those little bio boxes you have to fill in on a websites like Twitter? I hate those. It’s always hard for me to explain who I am and what I’m about without seeming either boring or narcissistic, so usually I just leave them blank. In a world full of labels where everybody insists they don’t need to fit into neat little boxes, we sure seem to do it a lot, especially when it comes to sexuality. Dominant, submissive, kinky, vanilla, queer, straight, gay, lesbian, femme, butch, monogamous, polyamorous, and the list goes on and on. These labels exist as a way to help us define ourselves (or, more often, as a way for others to define us), and become a part of us even when we don’t want to be limited by them.

So where do I fit into all of these labels? That question has been a struggle for me lately, but also a wonderful learning experience. There are times where I feel like I didn’t fit in with other sex bloggers, for numerous reasons. After all, I’m completely monogamous, mostly vanilla, and before discovering sex blogs I had never given a second thought to my own gender identity. On paper it seems as if I am completely out of my element, so what the hell am I even doing here?

Being exposed to people with different view points and lifestyles has not only taught me a lot about them, but has also allowed me to learn a lot about myself. I don’t ever see myself having a threesome or opening up my relationship, but I also respect those who have the ability to love/fuck/whatever without those limits. While I can’t say I’m anywhere near as kinky as many of my fellow bloggers, I do enjoy a hand around my throat or a sharp tug on my hair during sex. I’ve started to become more aware of my submissive nature, especially in my sexuality. Since I’m generally very in control of my day-to-day life, I had never fully recognized that side of myself.

So even though sometimes I feel boring and wonder why anyone would even want to read what I have to say, I’m going to keep doing this. I am going to stop caring about how other people perceive me, and just put myself out there. No sugar-coating, no bullshit, just me.

Related posts:

1. Not-So-Vanilla
2. TMI Tuesday
3. TMI Tuesday

Posted in Me, Rambling, Sexuality