I’ve always considered myself fairly vanilla, especially when compared to some of my kinkier blog friends. Until last night, I had hardly ever ventured past having my hair pulled or being lightly restrained. The more I’ve learned about myself and my sexuality, the more I’ve craved to know the feeling of being dominated. I’ve quietly desired to be spanked, flogged, tied up, and forced (willingly, of course) to completely submit.
Last night was the start of it all. A playful suggestion of “I’m going to bend you over the bed, go get that crop, and spank you hard” was all it took. I feigned a slight disinterest, although willingness, with a simple “okay, then do it.” In my head I was excited. This was something we had never done before, that I quietly, and sometimes unknowingly, yearned for. With the first slap of the leather crop, I knew this is what I had been waiting for. Slap. I took it quietly, bent over with my ass in the air. Slap. He would rub my ass as it slowly and beautifully turned red. Slap. Just a little harder each time. Slap. With my eyes closed, and my mind wandering off into a place of oblivion, I knew why so many people liked this. Slap. I rolled over quickly, a mindless reaction. He smiled at me, sensing my obvious enjoyment.
I fell in love with kink last night. My mind was freed, and I focused on nothing other than him and me. The trust I had for him and the love I felt was almost overwhelming. This… this is why people must like this so much, I thought to myself. I know I won’t become a full-time submissive, it’s just not in my nature, but I enjoy this sexual aspect of myself and our relationship. I’ve already begun craving more, looking at floggers and paddles, adding them to my wishlist in hopes of having them soon. I feel like a new world opened itself up to me, and I can’t help but be excited for the things I’ll soon discover.
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July 18th, 2009 at 11:11 AM
Hurrah! I know I said vanilla is just fine, and it still is, but it’s always nice to know that people are trying out kinkier things without any inhibitions. Congratulations on turning in to a kinkster.
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July 18th, 2009 at 11:13 AM
Yay for you! Ah I remember those first little moments when the kink spoke to me. Familiar, yet utterly surprising all at once.
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July 18th, 2009 at 11:15 AM
Vanilla with dark chocolate sprinkles!
Good for you. I know it takes serious guts to cross that line.
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July 18th, 2009 at 11:16 AM
oh girlfriend~~~ *i* remember when *i* went the next step~~i was in my early 30’s
and getting not so vanilla gets better every step you take
(i’m fifty~fucking~one now and still enjoy going the next step)
every fucking step
cc
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July 18th, 2009 at 11:17 AM
Thank you for the kind and supportive words ladies! I look forward to writing about this more as it progresses
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July 18th, 2009 at 5:18 PM
Woohoo! Yay kink!
It’s like spicy food: You may not want it all the time, but sometimes it’s EXACTLY what you need. hehe
I just finally convinced my guy to spank me like he means it … gawd I missed that kind of stuff.
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July 28th, 2009 at 9:38 PM
I am new to all the blogs about all this, but I wanted to say that I think there are a lot of people who might consider themselves vanilla compared to others, but I look at it like we are all just “us.”
I want to add that this post is really great because it lets people know that even if they aren’t sure they want it, trying something new opens doors…you may close them again, but you learn something about yourself. Nothing is better than self knowledge.
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August 4th, 2009 at 10:16 PM
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August 5th, 2009 at 8:39 AM
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